The Final Blow

There’s something to be said for the tranquility and peace of the countryside. The wind whistling through the valleys and clouds rolling overhead make for a very peaceful experience, with only the sound of birds chirping and yaks groaning to break the silence. Which, in theory, is lovely. Unfortunately though, the silence was bought upon by the lack of engine noise coming from my motorbike. We were 100km from the city, on the final leg of the tour when my little dragon decided that enough was enough. No topping up of oil was going to save her this time! With a splutter and a cough, she’d died a miserable death – a blown motor the final death blow ensuring that the final day was as eventful as the first. But more of that later.

Token tourist shot

Since our last installment there has been a lot happen and very little at the same time. As is the way with adventures, there is always a few lull days and with 600km of sealed road to cover in reasonably harsh and repetitive territory – the next few were to be those days. Well, so we thought anyway.

As if to ensure things were kept interesting for us all, on a straight, boring and sealed section of road, I was riding behind Tim only to see him pull over inexplicably. This was a common occurrence and as I approached was typically met with a thumbs up to indicate he was just stopping for a drink or to adjust something. This time however, the thumb was pointing directly down. It seems Tim’s bike got a little jealous of all the oil I was using and decided to rattle its sump plug loose, dropping its whole sump on the road in a comical oil strip. A loose sump plug was the culprit, which isn’t that big of a deal, but 50km from the closest town – it meant a long and slow tow from my gutless bike.

Small town. Bike repairs. No English…..this only meant one thing – a long, drawn out process where as many townsfolk as possible get involved. What they could possibly be discussing was beyond us. It was simple – sump plug as gone, get a new sump plug. Job done. I am not sure why it needed 14 people’s opinions, but it did. So a quick trip to a wreckers yard (we think it as a wreckers yard, if not – someone’s bike is missing a sump plug) and we had what we thought was a solution. Of course, nothing is simple in this country and the plug was the wrong size. In true Mongolia fashion though, rather than try and get the correct part, the local “mechanic” just pulled out some rubber cement compound and started gluing the plug in place. No amount of protesting and explaining from us could convince him that we needed the correct part. He simply couldn’t understand the issue. With that, and a few spare bottles of oil now strapped to BOTH our bikes – we were off again.

Towing Tim

Being back into some type of civilization has been good and bad. It’s meant we have had to carry less food and water as towns were more prevalent and we’ve also been able to have some lunch stops at actual food places, not just an apple and some biscuits on the side of the road. Trying to get something edible and meat less (for me) has been a challenge though. We thought we’d solved it by getting a note written for us a few weeks ago by a English speaking lady. The note read something like “we are travelling and don’t care what we eat as long as it has no meat. Eggs, rice, veggies, cabbage are all good. No meat please”. Well – we think it says that anyway, we can’t read the bloody thing! Our standard practice when entering a restaurant has been to give the note over and see what happens. This has resulted in fried eggs on rice, the occasional bowl of fries and bizarrely – some very nice sushi. Other times however, the note is received with a puzzled look, the proprietor reading it aloud, typically more than once, then handing to someone else to read, who would also stare at me blankly. After 5 minutes of deliberation, they would just say “no”. We were never sure if no meant they only have meat, or they don’t have eggs, or they have no idea what to cook without meat – but no meant no and we were often left to leave with our vegetarian tails between our hungry legs.

Our magic letter

A typical breakfast - stale bread, rotten tomato and raw onion with a cookie

After a few more days of listening to podcasts under my helmet as my bike screamed at 8,000rpm for km after km, we were both ready to be done.  A bit travel weary and with the prime sights behind us, we were ready for some clean showers, decent food and our next adventure for the trip in the USA. The old Mustangs had one last surprise for us though and there I was – slumped on the side of the highway, 100km out of Ulaanbaatar, loading my stead into the back of a minivan and hoping for the best. A few hours drive with a stranger later and another 20km of being towed by Tim (which was an experience all itself), we made it home. I chuckled to myself as we rolled back into Cheke’s rentals literally tied together with a piece of rope – the final act for my bike. A fitting end really!

Craig's mustang - slumped and dead

The final ride to the finish line

Final thoughts on Mongolia

5 Things Mongolian's enjoy

1. Building kick arse fences - even when there is nothing to fence, the abundance of cheap timber ensures an excessively long and elaborate fence

2. Being progressive and enforcing capital city wide cigarette smoking bans

3. Completely flaunting the above laws through sales of black market cigarettes and smoking in public places

4. Mutton......boiled, steamed, fried, raw......just give them MUTTON

5. Serving mutton with as minimal vegetables as possible

5 Things Mongolian's DO NOT enjoy

1. Building adequate roads

2. Cooking dishes without mutton / mutton grease

3. Fresh bread

4. Providing hot showers - or any showers for that matter

5. Provision of useful advice and / or parts for repairing motorcycles

Random Trip stats

• Km's travelled - 2,500 per bike
• Punctures - 1
• Destroyed engines - 1 (out of 2 total)
• Oil consumed - lost count
• Mutton consumed - 0 for Craig - plenty for Tim
• Reindeer products consumed - don't remind us!
• Chains / sprockets / fuel tank mounts / front suspension / kick stands / foot pegs broken - all
• Loads of laundry done - 0
• Showers - not many
• Hot showers - 0
• Quantity of 40m high stainless steel Ghengis Kahn statues scaled - 1
• Noodles consumed - soooooooo many
• "Bone soup" noodles consumed - 1 (Tim)
• Worst meal - dry noodles (ran out of cooking gas) with salt
• Best meal - N/A

Thanks for following

THE END :)